Gwen was telling Arthur about her dreams over their cup of morning coffee. He was trying to process it all, when his dog Hex suddenly came flying into the kitchen. He was chasing Gwen's piglet. He wasn't trying to hurt it, he just wanted his stuffed monkey back. Apparently the little piglet decided that he liked it also. Either that, or he was purposely teasing the dog. They had to intervene either way. The little pig ran under the table dragging the stuffed monkey, for clarity it's a stuffed sock monkey that is twice his length. I'll grab Hex, Arthur told Gwen, you have to catch the pig, and get his toy back. Hex looked at Arthur, and back at the pig, then back up at Arthur again right before he started doing full speed circles around the table. The piglet was stuck, he wasn't going anywhere. Donna heard the racket, and came running in to see what the commotion was. When she came around the corner of the kitchen counter, Hex was rounding the corner of the dinner table between it and the other side of the countertop. Donna never saw it coming. Hex bowled into her knee at warp speed, and he had enough velocity that he went rolling into the wall, while Donna went ass over tea kettle. Arthur, and Gwen watched it all go down before they could even warn her. The pig saw his opening, and he shot past them both, flew through the living room and headed back up the stairs. Luckily he abandoned the dogs sock monkey under the table when he fled. I got him, Gwen said already half way out of the kitchen.
Arthur was helping Donna up, just as Hex was getting to his feet. The dog shook his head and sneezed, then he trotted under the table and grabbed his stuffed monkey. He trotted off with it like nothing ever happened. Donna was rubbing her ass cheek, there was certainly going to be a bruise there. Arthur replayed the scene in his head, she hit the ground pretty damned hard. He had to offer her something, “do you need an icepack or something?” She looked at him cringing in pain still. No sir, my husband owes me some first aid, especially after we patched up his damned bullet hole. She hobbled into the living room, and laid across Stuart’s lap, with no explanation she said “rub my butt.” Stuart was still scanning the recording of last night's broadcast, without even asking why he began to poke and massage her butt. He looked over at Arthur and said, “Bro watch this” he pointed at the TV. Arthur walked over and picked up Donna's feet and sat down, placing them back over his lap like a seatbelt once he had. Stuart began explaining what he noticed before he hit play. “This guy isn't done, he hinted at some type of personal grudge. Said a few times that someone tried to steal his candy.” Arthur went pale, he asked them if they saw the portion, where he flips the table and pulls the mask off of the lady. Stuart looked surprised, no I started at the beginning when we got up.
Arthur obviously had a bit of insight that he needed to give them. He told Stuart to hand him the remote. He grabbed it from him, and fast forwarded the recording. Donna, you have to see this part, she groaned and turned her head just enough to see the screen. Arthur saw the part and paused it. This is a bit disturbing, more so than any of it you have seen so far. Gwen was just walking back down the stairs as he began playing it. He's been fed, and locked in the room, obviously referring to her piglet. She saw their attention was focused on the TV, so she walked over and sat on the arm of the couch next to Arthur. Donna and Stuart saw him rip the mask off of her, and Donna sat straight up when she saw her face. That's your date! Arthur asked her, what was Carolyn's whole name? Start is better at remembering those things. Stuart said, “her last name is also a guys first name.” He looked at Donna who was thinking, and he said Aaron, or Alan maybe. “Andy!” Donna remembered, and blurted it out. Hold on, Arthur said, Her name was Carolyn Andy? Did she also go by Candy? She just silently nodded yes. A second of silence went by. Her first initial, and last name together Donna almost whispered. She looked like she was about to start crying. That's not the real twist, Arthur said. The TV got paused, and the room went silent.
He explained to all of them what happened at work with David and Candy, and that he knew who Carolyn Andy was.. now. He asked Donna if Carolyn had ever been shown a picture of him when they were planning the “blind date.” Again Donna just silently nodded yes. Arthur took a deep breath, when was it Donna? Yesterday morning, she said she was having second thoughts. I sent her your picture, and she replied with “Okay, fine. I will be there.” Arthur was running through the events of the day. How Candy / Carolyn had begun streaming to her Only Fans audience, right next to where he always was in his stocking routine. She knew he would be grabbing stuff right next to the doorway, and when, but she still left it wide open. She also knew that he would be the one to find the tube of toothpaste. She wanted to be fired and sent home, maybe? She was a bit lazy in the past, but she had never flirted with Arthur, shoved merchandise in herself, or exposed herself at work before. She wanted to be sent home, but why? She could have just left, if getting out of there was the only goal. Instead she knew that Arthur was the highest ranking employee on shift, and he “should have” fired her on the spot. She could have been afraid of David, but was too scared to do something about it herself. He ran through it all in his head, but was still unsure.
Gwen stood up and started pacing. She began talking to herself softly, but loud enough that they could hear her. “This psycho said someone was trying to steal his Candy. While Arthur was supposed to have a blind date with Carolyn, not knowing that it was David's Candy from where he worked. David finds out, and causes a whole Apocalypse. Then he publicly vows vengeance, on the Candy thief.” Everyone including Hex, was watching her at this point. Suddenly she stopped, she looked over at them watching her. Sorry guys, I had to work through that. Arthur, if we could be next on his list, I want to be married today. Stuart and Donna both just froze, like deer in the headlights. Arthur looked up at the paused screen, where David stood frozen wearing an Abe Lincoln mask. Then he looked over at Gwen, and said “I would be honored, but our crippled guy on the couch will have to agree to do the ceremony. Donna was the one that answered them, “of course he will.” Stuart confirmed what his wife said. “Let's do it.”
Donna clapped her hands, and giggled. Finally a happy moment in this shit storm. Gwen looked over at Arthur, then down at Stuart and Donna, “Is there a cave that has a bunch of oak trees around it near here?” Arthur knew she had seen it in her dream, and that was the reason she was asking. Yeah hun just out back, Donna told her. Gwen looked at Arthur and smiled. Arthur smiled back, but then a horrified look crossed his face, and he ran upstairs without saying a word. He had to find a ring. He knew he still had his grandmother's jewelry box, he just wasn't sure where it was. The first place he looked was on the top shelf of his bedroom closet. He knew it was in a brown packing box. He stood there for a second with his hands on his hips in the closet doorway, staring at over a dozen brown boxes taped up and stacked in the back of it. Hiding behind his hanging clothes on the right side were another 4 that he knew were there, but he couldn't see. He heard Hex coming, his nails slowly tapping across the wood floor. Half jokingly he asked him, where is it boy? When Hex walked over to the 4 boxes behind his clothes, he nudged the bottom box with his nose. No fucking way. Again Hex nudged it, and then began whining. Arthur walked over and patted him on the head, good boy. He pulled the box out, imagining that it was probably way off, and Hex was tricking him into opening a box of stuffed animals.
When he finally got the box from under the stack, and sitting in the middle of his bed, he pulled his little pocket knife out and split the tape. Gwen was walking up behind him just as he folded open the cardboard lid. His dog was right, his grandmother's jewelry box along with some of her other things were sitting there in this box. He lifted the little rectangular wooden box out, and set it on the bed. It had 2 drawers in the bottom part, and the lid hinged open. Under the lid, was 2 rows of rounded black felt next to each other, and the rings were slid down in between them, with the settings showing. He stepped to the side, and pointed down at them. Does one of these seem suitable, is there one you like more than the others. She looked down and nodded her head yes, I really like a few of them. Then she looked back up at Arthur, but you sir have to choose the ring. She smiled really big, if you choose one that I like, I will give you a surprise while Donna finishes breakfast. His heart skipped a beat, and his palms instantly began sweating. It has been a year since he had sex last, but he still recognized the flirtation in every word and movement coming from Gwen right now. He looked down at the rings, one of them instantly cought his eye. It was silver, not gold, and it had a half carat diamond, with three emeralds in a little triangle on each side of it. He reached out, and plucked it from the box. When he held it up, Gwen was nodding yes, her curls were bouncing gently with her head. Her hands began in buttoning his pants, and she dropped to her knees. When she did, she took his pants down with her. No actual sex, until after the wedding. As she said that, her face was close enough to him, that he felt her warm breath as she spoke. Yes ma'am, anything you want. As she began giving him his surprise, the smell of bacon and eggs came gently into the room. We don't have much time together before breakfast, and I would really like to get to know you better. She was talking to his manhood. Then before he could reply, or react, the whole thing disappeared, and it would have been impossible for her to answer even if he did. Plus, she really seemed to be enjoying what she was doing, maybe even more than him if that was possible. It would have been rude to interrupt her.
Breakfast, Battle plans, and a Bear.
When they came down stairs, Stuart and Donna were putting food on the table. She made shredded hash browns, bacon, eggs, and grits. The smell of it had their mouths watering. Gwen giddily held up her hand, he found me a ring. Stuart looked up at it, that's a nice one. But, you may want to know, there is some “finding fluid” in your hair. He actually did air quotes when he said it. Arthur was instantly embarrassed, it caught him off guard when Gwen just said “Shit, sorry guys, when the second one happened it got away from me. Pretty sure there's still some in my ear too.” Arthur just looked at her and smiled, she was perfect. She took Stuart’s comical jab, ducked it and threw a haymaker of her own. Arthur only had about four seconds of stifling a laugh, before it just came roaring out. After he slowed down and cought his breath, he said “apparently, I picked the right ring.” Gwen immediately responded, “yes the fuck you did.” Stuart, and Donna looked at each other confused. “Look Stuart, they already have inside jokes.” He laughed, it took us a few months before that happened. They do move fast. Arthur just rolled his eyes at the two of them, and plucked a piece of bacon of the plate. He crunched into it, and said I'm gonna need you ladies to tend to the Animals, if you feel up to it. Then you can do any of the preparation for the ceremony. While you do that, I'm going to be setting up traps, and some more cameras. Is that okay, Arthur asked them. They both said yes. Stuart, you are in the nerve center of our base. Arthur grabbed a fried egg, and wrapped it around two more pieces of bacon. He walked over toward the refrigerator where the hand held radios were charging. He stuffed the egg wrapped bacon in his mouth, and grabbed two of the radios.
After chewing, Arthur did a sound check on the two ways, he saw they worked, so he handed one to Gwen. They have a channel, and sub channel on them, we will be using channel 4, and the sub channel 20. Stuart, if you change the source on the TV to the security cameras, you can watch everything happening around the property, and hit us on the radios if something goes wrong. It will give you something super important to do while you recover for a few days. Then Arthur grabbed the other two radios, and set them on the table. He sat down next to Gwen, and asked her, How's breakfast? She had a bowl of grits, with a few pieces of the bacon crumbled up in them. Fantastic, she said, she looked over at Donna and said, thank you for cooking it all Donna. Arthur had to thank her also, “Yes it was very good, thank you Donna.” Then he stuffed another fried egg wrapped around a few more slices of bacon into his mouth, he chewed it partially, and swallowed it down with a gulp of coffee. He wiped his mouth with a napkin, and admired this group. If he had to pick a team to ride out the shit storm with, it would have been them. He picked up a radio, and clipped it to his belt. Gwen, I want you to know, all you have to do is ask if you need anything. She half smiled and nodded yes with her mouth full of food. He leaned down and kissed Gwen on the forehead, and then he walked out the back door, he was smiling the whole time. The world outside may be going to shit, but the homestead looked exactly the same. With one new, and very beautiful addition, Gwen.
The ladies and Stuart were still talking over breakfast, when Donna suddenly dropped her fork and looked up at Gwen with a serious look in her face. What are you going to wear? Gwen looked down at Arthurs T-shirt and jogging pants that she had on. Oh no no no, Donna was shaking her head. That will not do. We will figure it out after we feed the animals, Gwen said with a smile, and if not, I'm marrying him in a pair of jogging pants. Either way, I can't stop smiling, and it's because of him. My life has been a miserable series of rat race jobs, and guys that were just okay. Arthur is way more than okay, he is amazing. Somehow, civilization goes to hell in a hand basket, and we are sitting here happy on a self sustaining farm, his farm. She smiled again and took a deep breath. Stuart was the one that spoke up next, I'm not happy, this bullet wound is starting to hurt. Donna got up from the table, and walked over to one of the cabinets where she pulled out a bottle of whiskey. She opened the cabinet next to it, and rifled around. She found a bottle of pain pills, Arthur never takes these things. She walked over to the table with them, and poured a shot in Stuarts coffee. Then she handed him two of the pills. These are pretty strong, they should do. Stuart looked at them in his hand, are these the ones from Arthurs shoulder surgery? She nodded yes, and he instantly popped them into his mouth. He chased them with a gulp of the Irish coffee. He slowly stood up, and kissed Donna. You ladies go handle the animals, and I will load the dish washer. Then I'll just be diligently sitting on the couch, and watching you all run around the yard doing real things. Awww Poor you, Donna replied. He stuck his tongue out at her while the ladies were heading out the door.
Gwen and Donna had been in the barn feeding animals, and mucking out their stalls, and pens, when Donna pointed down at Hex. Looks like you have a new friend. Hex had been at Gwen’s side since they walked out there. He is always at Arthur's side, Donna said, he must really like you. Then they all heard a loud whistle. When it happened Hex spun around and peeled out of the barn so quickly he kicked up a cloud of dust. Gwen and Donna made it out of the barn, just in time to see Hex at the far end of the valley, nipping at the ass of a black bear. The pulsating whistling sound was one of Arthur's Proximity mines. As the bear ran from Hex, he followed the line of barbed wire fencing around the cattle. He was making his way toward the treeline, and the Upward slope of the at the other side. That is when the radios went off, Stuart was Screaming Stop Arthur, Hex is chasing a…. before the message was finished, Arthur came through the treeline. The bear was running straight at him.
When he finally saw it, the damned bear was just a few dozen yards away, and coming fast. He thought about pulling his pistol, but the damned dog was all over him, he could not get a clear shot. He wasn't going to out run the bear. He could try to make it up to, and over the cattle fence, but he would be running straight at the bear. He was racing through ideas, when the bear was only about 5 yards away, and it spotted Arthur. It instantly stopped, and spun around to challenge Hex. Probably figuring that the dog was an easier fight, it spun and swatted, catching Hex across his ribcage and sending the dog tumbling through the grass. Arthur pulled his sidearm, and started charging the bear. It has his back to him, and was running at Hex who was still struggling to roll over, and get back up. He couldn't let the bear maul his dog. Arthur got into shooting distance of the bears side, just as it was cocking it's thick paw back to swat Hex. He squeezed off 2 rounds right behind the bears shoulder blade. Then he put one more right behind its ear. The massive body went limp, and instantly fell when the massive .50 cal handgun round slammed into its spinal column. It never took another breath, there was just a spasm, it's legs went stiff, and then there was a bloody exhale. Hex had finally righted himself, and got to his feet just as the bear fell. Arthur instantly put the sidearm away, and without hesitating picked Hex up. He ran straight towards the house, carrying his yelping dog. He had a laceration on his side, one that hopefully only need some staples and stitches.
When the ladies saw what was happening, they had started heading towards Arthur, but they hadn't made it very far when they saw him drop the bear, grab Hex, and made a bee line for the house. The kept on their course, because at this rate they would be getting to the house just as Arthur did. He spotted Donna, and screamed “Get the suture kit, and the stapler.” Donna broke left, and headed for the back door, while Gwe ran straight past the side of the house and made it to the front porch just as Arthur did. Stuart was opening the front door just as Arthur leapt up the 3 steps, and Gwen came over the side rail of the front porch. Arthur gently laid his jett black dog down, and they could all see the 6 inch long gash, with the layers of his flesh, and 3 of Hexes ribs that it had exposed. Gwen was surprised at how little the dog was bleeding. She knelt next to Hex, while the panicked searching, and stomping footsteps rung out all through the house. It was only a few seconds before Donna, Stuart, and Arthur were back out there with a whole crate of supplies. Arthur dropped the crate at Hex’s back and instantly jammed his hand in, grabbing a bottle of Saline solution. He poured out on the wound, as Donna ripped the paper backing off of a blister pack the size of her hand. It contained a staple gun for skin. Arthur then grabbed the sides of the wound and pulled them together. Donna without hesitating snapped 6 staples into the meeting edges. Pinching together 6 little spots along them, where they could see the little metallic lines crossing the wound. “I fucking hate bears” Stuart proclaimed. Hex made a sound somewhere between a growl, and a whine, almost as if he agreed. Arthur checked him over, trying to figure out if the gash was the only wound. It appeared to be, thankfully.
The damned proximity alarms usually scare animals off the property, Arthur said. Why the hell would the bear run further into it. It just doesn't make sense. Given what's happening in the areas around here, they should have all the scavenging they could want. That's when Donna spotted the drone coming over the ridge into the valley. Arthur looked back over his shoulder, just as Gwen said “it's a fucking drone.” The second the words were coming out of Gwen’s mouth, Arthur leapt over Hex, past Stuart who was beside the door, and grabbed some type of bow off of the wall inside the front door. When he ran back past Stuart, Donna, and Gwen, he already had an arrow knocked in it. He was sprinting with the bow facing the drone, it was making its way towards the house, heading over the pasture. Arthur was clearing the front yard, heading for the fence at the edge of the pasture. He stopped at the fence, and pressed something on the front of the bow, he had run past Gwen so fast, she couldn't see exactly what it was. “What is he doing?” Gwen blurted out, thinking to herself more than really asking Stuart, and Donna. But, Stuart answered her with one word, “Fishing.” Arthur skidded to a stop at the fence line, and fired an arrow. It soared about 40 feet, and crashed into the bottom of the large drone. You would have thought the arrow would have crippled it, or even broken it all together. Instead it stuck in, and Arthur was drone fishing. The small object on the front of his bow, was a fishing reel. Gwen and gang watched in amazement as he reeled in the struggling drone. It was buzzing away, trying to gain altitude at the end of the shrinking tether. Getting closer and closer to Arthur, with every crank of the small reel. He finally got it close enough that he reached up and grabbed it by the arrow. Then he flipped it over pressing the propellers into the grass and dirt, it shut off immediately. They could see him bend down, and break a small piece off of the drone, then he stood back up and stuck it in his pocket. Arthur then picked the drone up, keeping it upside down and began carrying it back by the arrow towards the porch.
Half way back, Arthur started gagging. They couldn't tell what was happening, but it almost looked like he was going to puke. He stuck the bow string over his shoulder, and used that hand to pick his shirt up over his face. When he got within 20 feet of the porch, the smell hit all of them. He stopped there, and pressed the drone back into the ground, and placed his foot on it. He yanked out his arrow, breaking a lower body panel off of the drone. It had a small cargo box mounted on it, with 4 small flaps like trap doors on the bottom. Arthur had missed the box by a fraction of an inch, and hit the drone itself. As Gwen sat on the porch, staring in amazement at the entire scene. She realized that within a period of 3 minutes, Arthur had killed a bear, saved his dog, and shot down a drone with a fishing bow. She just petted Hex, and watched as Donna and Stuart gagged their way over to it. Joining Arthur in the task of prying the little cargo doors open with a pocket knife. What they saw let them know a few things. This psycho David knew where they were, that was obvious. The fact that they found doe estrus, bear estrus, and mountain lion estrus inside the drone, just let them know that he was toying with them. He could have swarmed them with explosive drones, or picked them off with a sniper rifle from one of the ridges, if he wanted to. Instead, he is trying to have nature go beast mode, by dropping hot bear, cat, and deer mating scents in the homestead. When they got the fourth door open, there was an old mp3 player. He asked Donna to grab a big black trash bag from inside, then stopped her when she was half way to the house, and he said, no come to think of it get 3 of them. Donna didn't hesitate, she ran past Gwen and Hex, and flew inside. Gwen watched Arthur hand Stuart the mp3 player, and whatever piece of the drone he had, that he broke off and stuck in his pocket. Now that he was much closer, she saw it a bit better when he handed it off, it looked like a GoPro, or some other type of small sports camera.
Let's go set up the basement, we need a safer base, she heard Stuart as he suggested it to Arthur. He just nodded affirmatively. It really struck Gwen when she realized that Arthur without ever seeming surprised or panicked through this whole set of events, responded to Stuart, and she finally saw worry in his eyes. He spoke and only barely responded to Stuart with, “yeah bro, it's time.” Now, he still had his calm, that “I'm on top of shit swagger” that he wore so well. There was just a slight bothered look of contemplation ending in worry. Instantly when he said it, his eyes shot up to Gwen. Her heart skipped a beat, when they made eye contact. As she was sitting there on the porch with Hex’s head resting on her leg. She heard him say, I've got to get them safe downstairs A.S.A.P.
Gwen pictured walking downstairs, and seeing a hot water heater, a breaker panel, and some stored boxes. She got down there and was not surprised although, it was nothing like that. They did pass through a basement like that, one that had had all of this things. This basement however, had another stairwell in the back of it. Arthur walked up to what looked like a shelf full of random stuff, it was sitting up against the outer cinder block wall. He reached into a dried out glass goldfish bowl, and dug his hands into the glass beads at the bottom. He pressed a button, and the old wooden storage shelf made a clicking sound, and one side of it swung out a few inches from the wall. The whole thing was a door, a door blocking a stairwell. Gwen could see that this stairwell was carved directly into the solid stone beneath the house, leading down a bit further than she expected. About 40 feet below the first basement, and about 50 feet beneath the house, they came to the bottom of the stairs, and all of the light behind them was still back up there. Arthur asked Stuart to go back up to the top of the stairs, and radio to Donna telling her to triple bag the drone, and drop it in the trash can. Then let her know, to head down here with Hex once she finishes, and we get the power on. Stuart nodded and hobbled back up the stairs, holding his rib cage with one hand, and grabbing the radio with the other. Arthur popped open a heavy metal door at the dark end of a short hallway at the bottom of the stairs, Gwen could hear him, and see a moving silhouette, Arthur said close your eyes for a second, and she did. There was a loud click, and then light. That wasn't a light switch she heard though, it was more like a big breaker getting flipped. She slowly opened her eyes, and at the end of the short hall and she could see a 4 inch thick steel door hanging open. On the other side of it, she saw that Arthur was straight ahead about 8 feet in, opening another door.
She stepped forward, and followed Arthur into the utility room. There was a breaker panel in the wall to her left, and a rack of mason jars on the right side. The jars all had food preserved in them. She saw strawberries, and other fruits in the ones closest to the door, the ones further up the shelf, closer to where Arthur was standing had Pork, Venison, or Beef, written in black marker on a piece of masking tape stuck on them. There were hundreds of the jars stored up there. She looked up at Arthur, and was going to say something when Stuart came in behind her carrying Hex. “Coming through,” he said as he worked his way around Gwen. Arthur was just popping the other door open, and he held it open, Stuart went through first. After you my lady, Arthur's baritone voice vibrated off the stone walls, and gave Gwen goosebumps as she felt the bass of it. When she stepped through this door, she was standing in a living room. The only difference between this one, and any other living room she had ever seen, was the furniture. There was no TV. The couch and loveseat were an old hard wood 1980’s set, the cushions had an almost rustic design, it looked like an old cabin, and a water wheel on the old cushions. The arms on both were wood. Even the lamps with matching shades, and the end tables looked like they came from 1984, and handed here. Stuart passed right through that room, and headed through a doorway in the far back corner to the left of the couch. Arthur walked over to piece of furniture that looked like a desk, and he opened the top of it, like the hood of a car.
He called Gwen over, and when she saw inside, he started flipping some of the switches. One of them started a projector screen to roll down from the ceiling along the wall next to them, and the next one he flipped started a projector. She looked up at the wall. Even with the lights on, she could see a split view of 9 security cameras. On the top left frame she could see that Donna was dropping a trash bag into the outside garbage can. She had no idea what the other 9 switches were for that he flipped, or what the other ones turned on, that he did not flip or press. This is the master control box, he told her with a smile on his face, it will run everything on the property. Above the ground and below, everything comes through here. She was wondering where the diagram was that showed what they all went to. Just as Gwen was about to ask, Stuart came back in and said, hey man, Hex is laying down in your room. Arthur nodded, Thank you for carrying him down here. Then he turned his attention back to Gwen, I'm heading back up there to lock up a few things, I'll grab your piglet when I do. Is there anything else you want me to grab you? Without hesitating she said, Yes, a joint. I would love to smoke a joint. Arthur just looked at Stuart, and smiled. Bring her to the drying room bro. Gwen grabbed Arthur's hand before he walked away, then she pulled him towards her, and really kissed him. As he walked away she was staring at his ass. She could not wait to finally smoke, she spun around and looked at Stuart with a childish excitement. Well, where's the good stuff?
The Aroma of the drying room found Gwen’s nose, long before they tuned the corner and walked into it. There was a highly pleasant blend of scents. The drying cannabis was by far the strongest smell, but she was also picking up the scent of rosemary, thyme, and several other plants. When she saw the huge drying buds that are the size of her forearm, Gwen went totally speechless. Stuart noticed her dazed look, “Hey lady,” he waved his hand in front of her face. Which one do you want to try? He pointed to the one furthest from them, that one is White Widow. His hand drifted over to point at another row, that is Lemon Cookies. He skipped over a few, and reached out and grabbed a piece of the nearest bud, and he stuck it near her nose. This one here, he said, is my personal favorite. The one and only Triangle Kush. She took in a deep smell of it, and just nodded yes.
The End of the World, it just keeps on getting better.
Arthur was heading back downstairs, with a piglet under one arm, and a duffel bag being toted in his other. The smell of burning triangle kush hit him halfway down the stairs. By the time he got into the “utility room” as Gwen called it, he could hear the music. By the time he opened the door into the bunker White Rabbit by Janis Joplin sounded like it was live in concert. Stuart had it playing on all the speakers, including the intercom system. The piglet started squirming as soon as they got inside. So he set it down, and it instantly made a mad dash towards the back rooms. He followed the little guy, figuring it would lead him straight to Gwen. True to it's nature, the little piglet found his friend. Stuart and Gwen were laughing when Arthur walked in, then they saw him and both of them went silent. Gwen pointed at Arthur and said, “Stuart told me your secret.” Stuart looked away and put both of his hands up, “She made me tell.” Arthur spun and looked at Stuart with a glare that actually scared him. Then Stuart said, she wanted to know where you learned to grow such good pot man, I didn't that think telling her you spent some time on a hippie commune when you were growing up was such a a big deal… sorry dude. When Arthur heard Stuart explain himself, the look of tension and anger left him instantly. Stuart relaxed a bit when he saw Arthur's face go from fury to amusement. Gwen was so stoned she couldn't tell if she was imagining the body language and anger, or if it really just happened. Either way, her little piglet was back in her lap, and Arthur was handing her a duffel bag. He had a smile on his face now. “So, he told you I spent some time on a hippie pot farm?” She nodded yes, with the look of amusement on her face. Did he also tell you that I created a whole new strain? Her look went from amused, to amazed and her mouth dropped open. Arthur held his hand out to her to help her off the couch, come with me.
Arthur led Gwen to his room in the bunker. It looked normal enough, there was a matching bed, dresser, and nightstand. It all looked like it was ordered from a catalog straight from the 70’s or 80’s. He was approaching a closet door in the corner of the room, when Gwen asked him “What are you?” He paused with his hand gripping the door knob. She continued, are you a farmer, a store clerk, or some super human soldier? He slowly twisted the doorknob, he turned to her with a big smile, and said “Yes.” As Arthur was pulling the door open, Donna stopped in the bedroom doorway, and knocked on the open door. They both turned to look at her, “Arthur, Stuart wants to know if he is still supposed to call up the guys?” Yes, Arthur replied, and he should tell them to hurry. Donna said, “Got it,” but before she turned and walked off she asked Gwen, what is your cup size? Gwen with a serious look on her face, looked down at her own boobs, DD lately, she told Donna. She looked up at Donna, clearly stoned out of her mind. In about a week they will be too big for a DD, at least for a few days. Arthur went completely motionless, and as silent as a statue. The ladies continued talking, and he slipped silently into the closet, and quietly closed the door. Why did they have to start talking about boobs, he flipped the light on, and looked down at the embarrassing bulge that had instantly sprung up. He looked around for a way to hide it, but nothing in the closet / grow room was going to work. He started to panic when he heard Donna say, “well you two go ahead and settle in, I'll go let Stuart know what Arthur said.” He looked around frantically, he heard the doorknob moving, and knelt down next to one of the plants. He was pretending to check the soil for something when Gwen opened the door. She looked down at Arthur, then scanned the rows of plants all around him. Oh my God Arthur, is that real Acapulco Gold?? Arthur remaining on his knees, turned slightly towards the plant she was talking about. He smiled, yes ma'am it is, you really know your strains. He had to distract Gwen while Stuart hurried up and gathered together a few people, both for witnessing their being married, and to discuss a course of action. What a terrible time for an erection to pop up. He wasn’t even sure why he was still hiding it, he was only embarrassed to begin with because Donna was standing there when it first happened.
Arthur stood up slowly, while still taking to Gwen about the Golden colored pot plant. He kept eye contact with her, and had picked up an empty tray for germinating starter plants. Arthur was thanking the gods, it was starting to go away. Hex came trotting back into the room, he was sniffing around on the floor for a few seconds at first, then he spun around to face the doorway. The dogs nose was up, and he was sniffing away at the air in the hallway. Both Gwen, and Arthur had stopped talking, and were now watching Hex. Arthur suddenly looked up at Gwen with a startled look, Where's your piglet? They both scanned the room, and didn't see the little guy anywhere. Hex turned and bayed at Arthur one time, then he peeled out down the hall. Before Arthur or Gwen could make it to the door, the piglet flew by, and the dog was hot on its heels. Arthur burst out laughing, “He’s a Shepard by nature.” Gwen stepped into the doorway and looked down the hall, just as the piglet got to the end, and did a u-turn at full speed. Hildi Stop! Gwen shouted at the piglet, and it did instantly. To both Arthur and Gwen’s surprise, she said come here, and the little pig trotted right over to her feet. She picked him up, and started petting him. When she looked up, she realized that Hex and Arthur were staring at her with their heads cocked in confusion. “What?” Gwen was looking at him trying not to smile. She shrugged her shoulders, I'm good with animals, she said, I always have been for as long as I can remember. I don't make a big deal about you being a real life G.I. Joe. He smiled back at her, fair enough. As he was just thinking to himself, G.I. Joe.. she has no clue. Donna came running around the corner, and back down the hall “Arthur, the guys are here.”
Right on cue for some more things, that Arthur was hoping Gwen didn't ask him about, yet. Simply because he didn't have time to explain it all in full, a very large Man in overalls came walking around the corner behind Donna. Some warning would have been great, the large man said as he held up a headless chicken by the feet. Donna rolled her eyes when he held it up, and she saw the blood dripping out all over the floor. I'm sorry, Arthur replied to him, there was no way, or time to call. No need to apologize my lord, I am always at your call. Gwen was now more confused than she had ever been in her whole life. This large farmer in overalls, just called her new boyfriend / fiance “my lord.” Plus he was holding a headless chicken, and just said “some warning would have been great” which is a fairly good indicator that he didn't have time to put it down. Then to swiftly add even more confusion, he points up at Gwen with the hand gripping the chicken. Is that her, he asked Arthur with a shocked look. This guy was easily 6 foot 8 inches tall, and by his face, he looked like he couldn't have been more than 30 years old. He had a full on ZZ Top beard, and a silenced Desert Eagle strapped on each thigh. Arthur said, Yes, Marshall, this is Gwen my bride to be. The giant man dropped the chicken, and fell to one knee, he held out both hands in front of him with one of his huge pistols laying across them. He was just about to say something to Gwen, when Arthur put his hand on the mans shoulder. It's not time for that yet Marshall, let's go sit and wait for the others. The man holstered his weapon, and grabbed the chicken. Silently he stood up and nodded, he apologized for the mess, and walked back around the corner. Hex trotted away right behind him, his tail was wagging, as he happily sniffed at the man, and the chicken.
Well, here we are.
Donna looked at Gwen, then over at Arthur, then back at Gwen again. Ummm, I'm just going to give you two a minute. She backed away without saying another word, disappearing around the corner. The song that was still playing over the whole intercom system went silent for a second, then it changed to “Wildest Dreams” by the Moody Blues. Gwen looked up at the overhead speaker in the ceiling, then back over at Arthur. “My Lord?” She addressed him just as Marshall did. He sighed, and tried to wrap his head around how he was going to explain all this. If.. no when… ummm. Give me a second. “Yes, my Lord!” Gwen sarcastically blurted out with an Elizabethan accent, and she bowed. First off, Arthur said, don't do that, Queens do not bow. This froze Gwen in place. Then like a smart ass, he turned and walked away. Knowing that in about 3 seconds, it would sink in. At least he was hoping it would, and she would put it all together herself. Arthur walked down to the T in the hall, and turned right. Heading for the same room that Marshall went to, the room where he would meet all the others also. He wanted to tell Gwen, but she would be better off figuring it out on her own. Which shouldn't take very long, considering his friends had no filters, and probably just assume that she already knows. They should drop enough hints within a few minutes of meeting her. He rounded the corner into the meeting room, and sat at the table. Marshall, and Donna were already in there. Donna looked up at him, well, how did she take it all? Arthur just gave Donna a blank look. Wait.. Marshall interjected, you mean to tell me she doesn't know that you are.. “No, she doesn't!” Arthur interrupted him. How am I supposed to break that egg open without making a huge mess? I really like her, I mean, she already knows something is up, but no I haven't exactly told her. Can't we just get to know each other a little bit first… damn?
The Queen!
Gwen stood there for what felt like an eternity after Arthur had walked away. She was trying to fit together everything that she had seen, with what Arthur had said. She was still missing too many pieces of the puzzle. She had to find him, and ask a few questions. She began walking to go find him, when she was coming up by one of the rooms, she heard a crazy sound come from it. A sound that reminded her of paper tearing, but somehow it was so loud that she could feel it. She took another step, until she was right in front of it, and she pushed the metal door open. The first thing she saw, was Stuart standing behind some stone podium in the back corner. Then the sound happened again, and flash of light, suddenly there was a man standing in the middle of the floor. The way he was standing, he was facing Stuart, with his back facing Gwen. He was stark naked, and she could see that his back and arms were covered in scars, and in tattoos. The man shook his head, and rubbed his eyes, then he looked straight up at Stuart. “Well that was odd timing.” He outstretched his arms, and said, It's been a while Stuart, how are you? Like he was not at all shocked at all, to just suddenly appear there stark naked. He just jumped right into greetings, and pleasantries. Gwen was standing there briefly enough that Stuart hadn't noticed her, so she just kept walking. As she did, she noticed the drips of chicken blood from Marshall leading further down the hall, where it got to the tee and then turning right. She followed it hoping that it would lead her to Arthur.
Donna was shaking her head, looking at Arthur with a clear look of disapproval, when Gwen walked in carrying her piglet. Hello, Marshall said and he waved to her from a seat next to Arthur. Come sit with me and Arthur at this large round table, at least while we wait for the other knights to arrive my lady. She looked at Arthur, then at Marshall, then over at Donna. Holy Shit! You, are.. you aren't.. are you? It was Donna that spoke up, “Yes honey he is.” Donna continued, and Stuart, Marshall, Carl, Duke, and the others are all knights. You sweety are going to be the Queen. She looked at Arthur. He said I'm sorry, I was going to tell you, but honestly just wanted to get to know you first. Imagine if I had told you in the Tiki bar. You would have never spoken to me. Gwen was shaking her head. She said, Hex go pee on Arthur's leg. To everyone's surprise, Hex who was laying down in the corner, got up and walked over to Arthur and peed on his ankle and foot. Then walked back to the corner and laid back down. Good boy, Gwen told him, and his tail wagged. No more secrets Arthur, she was pointing at him with a super serious look on her face. It was hard for her to hold, when Marshall and Donna broke out laughing. Fine Gwen, no more secrets. Now tell me how you just made my dog, get up and do that. She placed the piglet on the table. Hildisvini, please dance. The piglet stood up on its hind legs, and began to twirl and dance. I can communicate with most animals, and control them. She held her hands out, “here” the little pig dropped down to all four and ran over to her.
Arthur was speechless, he knew there was something different about Gwen. But he never would have imagined that she could control animals. Now, Gwen looked at Arthur, my piglet is hungry. Arthur with a blank look pointed at the door, “it's in the duffel bag.” Thank you, Gwen replied, then she turned and walked out. Once she was clear of the door, and Arthur gained his composure again. He looked up at Donna, that went way different that I had originally expected. Stuart was coming through the door, just as Arthur said it. Carl and Duke were right behind him. What did I miss, Stuart asked. Donna and Marshall just started laughing again. She knows now, Arthur greeted Carl, and Duke, then told him what just went down. So, Marshall clapped his hands together loud, King Arthur gets Married. Duke looked around the room, Does this mean that it's time, that we are rebuilding the kingdom? Yes Duke, and I promise you all, the morning after after the ceremony we will finally discuss all of that.
To be continued. . .
Thank you greatly for reading. Stay tuned, for the next Installment of Arthur's adventure in “Hold the Homestead” next week.
Also, next week will be big for both of our publications. “The Pagan Post” and “Uncovered” will each see a few small changes. Improvements that are only possible because of the loyal readers, and the contributions made to the Publications, and Writers. 💪